Tearmoon Empire: Volume 3 by Nozomu Mochitsuki

Author:Nozomu Mochitsuki [MOCHITSUKI, NOZOMU]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: J-Novel Club
Published: 2020-12-12T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 31: The Melancholy of a (Real) Saint

“Oh dear... I seem to have run my mouth a tad.”

Rafina grimaced at herself after Sapphias left. She drank down the last of her tea, its bitterness matching her expression, and murmured, “Being turned down by Mia must have hit me harder than I thought...”

The girl named Rafina Orca Belluga, bearing titles such as Saint of Belluga and the Holy Lady, was an object of reverence for the masses. The worship and adoration of her people, however, did not produce for her a single friend, and she’d lived most of her life without knowing the companionship of a close peer. Nevertheless, she never pitied herself. Her father loved her greatly, and her people treated her with kindness and respect. Her circumstances were, if anything, a blessing. Everyone treated her as someone special. And why wouldn’t they? Her specialness was an objective fact. What use was there in denying it? There was only one Saint of Belluga, and she was it. She was utterly unique. It was only natural for her to be treated differently.

But at the same time, she couldn’t help but think that the same applied to other people as well. Everyone was made to be their own unique person. Shaped individually by God, they were all different, and their traits were theirs alone. All traits were gifts from God, so all people deserved equal respect. So said God’s teachings, and such was inscribed in Belluga’s Holy Book. Consequently, Rafina found that her special treatment was a source of frustration for her. She was no more special than her peers. She wished they’d approach her the same way they did anyone else. Treat her the same.

Make friends with her the same.

One day, the daughter of a prominent noble came to her.

“Miss Rafina, would you please be my friend?”

Rafina was delighted by the request. Finally, she’d found someone willing to approach her without any of that special treatment she detested. She brimmed with excitement at the prospect of having a normal friend. Then, some time later, she witnessed something she never wanted to — the sight of her new friend beating an attendant with a stick.

“How can you do something like that?” she asked, utterly baffled.

Her friend was supposed to be someone who did not subscribe to notions of status. Someone who was unswayed by the fiction of specialness. Someone who saw her not as a saint or noble, but as a person. Wasn’t that why she’d befriended her? But if so, why was she capable of acting so cruelly toward her attendant?

The incident forced Rafina to turn her thoughts inward. After much reflection, the answer came to her. She realized why the noble girl treated her as an equal. The reason was simple; because she saw herself as her equal. Not an equal to Rafina the person, but an equal to Rafina the saint. The girl believed herself to be just as special, favored by God and endowed with superiority. It wasn’t impartiality, it was just conceit.

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